Today's Interview is with LeNair Xavier. LeNair Xavier is a former porn star/sex worker. He know has taken up the mantle of anti porn activist. Check out LeNair's
blog here. Recently he has called out singer Lovari for joining the Latino Fan Club. I decided as there are at least three sides to every story that it could be a good idea to explore the issues LeNair brings up, as they are serious.
Justin Samuels: How do you think the porn industry harms its actors and gays in general?
LeNair Xavier: The porn industry in general preys upon one's desperation for validation. For who else would put themselves through the torture and humiliation that porn actors, especially females and bottoms are put through? So for gays, who isn't more desperate for that validation that a gay male. When gay media makes sexualizing anything possible being the only way to acceptance. Or as a gay person feels ostracized by family and friends due to a homophobic home or religious upbringing. I am definitely the latter, which explains my late coming out, followed by my road to porn 3 years after that.
JS:Could it be that these alleged downlow guys are just acting? How closeted can they be if they are willing to have sex on tape?
LX: Possibly, but that proves to you what's wrong with the industry. If you're doing that much acting, then your greed and narcissism made you forget how porn teaches questioning gay males how to sexually interact. For gay porn picks up in those lessons of sex where their straight parents are naturally void of the information. But more importantly, porn is like every other business. You have to be mindful of what other companies are doing. So with so many other companies using guys who actually define themselves as "gay for pay", you can't be the one studio out of a gazillion where your guys are just acting straight. If a questioning gay male hears all of these "gay for pay" marketing ploys, then finds that video of gay guys acting straight on Pornhub, he doesn't see the difference.
Now how closeted can they be just shows the stupidity of gay-for-pay models regardless of their ethnic background. The White ones do it out of White entitlement thinking they're invincible. So the boomerang of doing this porn is not going to hit them. Meanwhile, the ethnic ones are the ghetto trash who are the opposite end of the spectrum. They're totally dimwitted to the fact that there is a boomerang that exist for doing this. I'm not saying that Black or Latinos who present themselves as educated don't screw on the down low. The majority are just not dumb enough to use money as an excuse to get in front of a camera and do it. Their intellect reminded them that as long as there's a means to play it, what they did in front of that camera is around forever. Ghetto boys don't know that. That's why no matter how big their dick is, they're still boys and not men.
JS: Is there any porn you consider positive?
LX: Any porn that shows 2 people genuinely into each other, who knew of each other, therefore chose each other before getting in front of that camera. That's positive porn. And the only incident I had such a casting was in one of my last (but less known) movies, All Out Assault. For that reason, I am still friends with the man who directed that movie.
JS: You speak out a lot on drug use. Can you talk about how drugs have decimated the gay scene?
LX: That's easy. Whatever your race, gender, orientation, or religion, etc., drugs are a means of escapism. So those in the gay scene using drugs are still trying to escape something. It usually shows itself to be the shame of their homosexuality. For why else would that drug use usually occur with sex play? Sex is a beautiful enough high on its own.
I'm in the gay scene as an observer, but I am not of it like most of the people I know from it. For you can't collect information that I have by standing on the sidelines. You have to get in the middle of it to some degree. That's why some of my views on porn has changed now from what they were before I got in it. Anyway, what I've found is that the gay scene has never been much good for us from past to present. For many in it were and/or are alcoholics and drug abusers. That's why in my Adam4Adam profile, I put in my profile that if you saying "Out No" means you're on the down low, I don't want to talk to you. Because I have chatted with guys on there whose profile says "Out No", and are actually out, they're just not out in the gay scene of bars and clubbing. If their profile says "Out No", then they're one step closer to be man enough for me to want to meet them. Be it for a night, or for life.
JS:You've called the actors at the Latino Fan Club ghetto trash. But perhaps there's another way of looking at this. Where do you think these guys will be in a few years? What's the future of someone's whose ghetto (if the person really is ghetto assume no job skills and a poor education) who gets into this business?
LX: I think you and I define "ghetto" differently. For when I say ghetto trash, I'm talking about the Black and Latino guys who always want to talk the street lingo to be praised for having street cred. They might get an education at Harvard, and have a high paying job, but if you can't present yourself as such when you're away from the job, you are not man enough to be acknowledged as one. For you are presenting the lowest form of our Black and Latino brothers. So whether they're my definition of "ghetto", or yours, the weight of presenting such stupidity is weighing on their shoulders by their time in that business. For it weighs on mine, and I didn't play ghetto, but I was in scene with them. And while I don't regret it since it taught me the lessons I'm passing on now, it does disgust me with myself to think back on it.
JS: Do you think gay culture is collapsing? I ask because many iconic gay bars have closed and a number of aspects of the gay scene just aren't what they used to be. In the 1990s New York, you still had a number of young gay guys desperate to move into Manhattan and become popular by having a sexualized job. Porn star, bartender or waiter in gay bar, or even a drag performer. But it seems as though the scene is dying due to many factors. Gentrification has priced out many gays, and I think younger gays are a lot more mainstream. I've noticed more younger gays with degrees and advanced degrees with actual professional jobs, so the whole allure to even participating in much of the gay scene isn't what it used to be. Also, Adam4Adam and Grindr are proving major competitors to going out looking for hook ups. No need to spend money to get drunk. Your thoughts on all this?
LX: If gay culture is collapsing it's the gay powers-that-be own fault, and no one who has enough pull daring to overthrow them. For gay media puts out there that the only way to get ahead is to prostitute yourself. Look at how many prostituting ads are in nightlife magazines like Next Magazine. How many parties where gay guys end up drunk and/or high make Odyssey and Get Out magazine's advertising money. A newly out gay male feels this is their ticket into these circles to get to their goal. Go-go dancing worked for me to a degree since I've always been a sexual person, and I love to dance. But for some of these guys that's not the case. They get up on the box or bar at a venue, and there's an emptiness in their eyes that shows that being touch by a patron is to them like being molested. And for prostitutes to do their job, they must go to a dead place like a molested child. So it's no wonder gays are known for a skewed view of love.
And before anyone tries calling me a hypocrite again, note how there is a big difference between being a prostitute and an exhibitionist like I was aiming to be in porn. But I admit to my prostituting moments in porn, which is why I know of the ugliness it takes to live such a life. And it began being that was the only way to stay in the business, which is another reason I left. Be the sex I have be done privately or in front of a camera, it must be full of life for a mental connection was formed, and not a financial one.
And gays have always had degrees and advanced degrees. So that's not what's preventing them from going out. What prevents them from going out is that the cost of living is so high that they don't have the time. So Adam4Adam and Grindr are not really competitors. That's media hype. But they are enablers to gays being socially inept, and unable to communicate. For I have often been at a bar full of gorgeous guys, yet you can easily find a guy being a wallflower looking at Grindr.
JS:You obviously say a lot online in many forums about your anti porn activism. Have you decided to take your story and activism to the mainstream media? Perhaps you could pitch your story to publishing companies and write a book. Or maybe you could go on television. Perhaps you should write newspapers too, or even do a documentary on this subject matter.
LX: I would love to go on a tv talk show, and other mainstream media. But they never seem to want a Black voice on the issue. For I tweet, comment, and send emails about blog posts addressing these issues to mainstream media all the time letting them know about my porn past. BUT they always go for the White guy who tip-toes around the deep issues I address. That's why in my poem "Faux Rainbow", some early lines say:
You hear wise words come from the dark skin
But you show how it's light you favor
For you wait to give him a platform
To praise his light skin as the brand of a savior
As for writing a book, I am actually working on an autobiography right now. I'm participating in the Rainbow Book Fair's Poetry Salon for the 4th straight year, and plan to talk to publishers there. But my main goal is to reach more mainstream publishers. Because just because I'm a predominately gay man, my experience overall is not a gay story.
JS: Have you thought about working with community organizations on these issues of exploitation by the porn and sex industry? I would imagine one could hold interesting workshops at places like the LGBT Center, GMHC, QueensPride House, etc.
LX:I have moderated discussions about the porn industry. In fact, I invited some organizations to attend. And talked to the head of a PR company to try to get in contact with these organizations.
Well, the organizations didn't attend, and I never heard from the guy from the PR firm with those contacts. And based on the behavior of some guys at my discussion for Men of All Colors Together/NY, "Gay Porn: Sex Educator, Indicator, or Both", I'm sure the reason is because of gay males known arrested development issues. For some showed what I unfortunately expected...When you challenge gay males to think about the porn they're viewing and what they may or may not have learned from it, they act like 5 year-olds when you threaten to take their toys away.
JS: Sometimes people who have gone through what you went through use this passion to propel them back to school and into new careers like social workers, psychologists, lawyers, etc. Have you ever entertained any such ideas?
LX: No, because I'm an artist first and foremost. I'm creative all day long. Any spare moment on my day job I'm jotting something down. So I'm making my art in poetry and writing be my way of being a psychologist, therapist, etc.
JS: What would you tell any young person who wants to play the role of a thug in a gay porn? What would you suggest he do instead?
LX:To any Black or Latino, wanting to play a thug, I might first ask them. To be honest, I know my temper, especially towards such ignorance. So let's hope I would ask them that before telling them how much of a sellout to their own they are being. I would also tell them that if you find that lowering yourself is your only way into a certain circle, then it's not a circle worth being in. For I lowered myself when I worked for Pitbull Productions doing 2 movies, then became a blogger on their ThugPornBlog. I was giving fuel to a bad image of us Blatinos that needs to disappear, and the sooner it's gone, the better. Luckily, I took those lessons, and did better for myself. But not everyone is as blessed as I am to come to that needed realization.
JS: You have your ideas on what's wrong with gay culture. Well, what's right about gay culture, if anything. What should people do to fix it?
LX: The fact hiding it is not as necessary as it once was. But sadly, that's about it. For many gays have taken the lack of needing to hide as much too damn far. Like the slightest sign of someone not coming 100% around to accepting homosexuality just yet, or President doesn't sign a bill into law on their timetable, there a groups running to the media saying "How dare you?!" These are gays who need to realize that acceptance takes time in them just as it probably took time for you yourself. As far as what should be done to fix it, we need to stop the ageism, racism, and sexism within our community. If we start with that many walls within the gay community will come crashing down like they should.
JS: Any thoughts about how recent things such as allowing open gays to serve in the military or allowing gay marriage might benefit gays?
LX:I have a bad history with the military. For a number of people I've met who have been in the military showed themselves to be verbally abusive to me, and others. Including my own grandfather. So to me, gays in the military means more gays getting that drilled into their head, than they got from sexualizing the bullying they've endured. It also means more people dying in war. My feeling is that as gays, we had an out to avoid being another war casualty. Gay activists should have took it. I love this country, but I have higher priorities than this country to live for, like living to love my family.
As for gay marriage, I didn't care much about it until I was a witness at my best friend's wedding. I'm glad to see that gays are afforded the same rights by getting married. But I think after a certain amount of time together, and living together because of it, any couple, straight or gay should be afforded the same rights as a married couple across the land. I do find the fact that it has to go by state to be silly. But then again, that's the hypocrisy of Congress, the Senate, etc.
JS: It seems that much of your criticism of gays is tied to the club scene or porn scene. What about gays who don't operate in this scene or just only occasionally go out? What about gays who live in the suburbs, small towns, and in other locations.
LX: Most of my criticism is tied to gays from the club and porn scene (which are greatly intertwined) because this is what teaches many of us how we are suppose to be if we are gay. Most gays at one point or another operated in the club scene. It may have gotten old for them, but they still did it.
Although many porn producers run to that "it's a fantasy" excuse when someone calls them out, and viewers use it when they don't want that porn taken away because it's on their bucket list, and they want to beat off to it until they can fulfill it, the porn scene is a teacher to many gay males. And that's why I make my criticisms. For it teaching those gays in the suburbs, small towns, and other places across the globe what a certain group of people are like. That's why many small town or suburban White or Europeans come here looking for either the Diesel Washingtons, Bobby Blakes, and Black/Latino thugs to use sex as a tool for abuse. They've sexualized their past abuse as a coping mechanism, and/or their guilt over slavery, corporate theft at the expense of people of color, etc. That's why they're shocked when I treat them the same humanity (or usually way more) than they expect to be treated by a White suitor.
JS: Some gay men say these psychoses are from oppression from the mainstream society. Do you see these pressures improving in recent years (look at the legal advances)? Have you yourself noticed any positive effects or changes?
LX: This is a case where I'm hoping for the best, but expecting the worst. For not looking my age (43 come March) has made me able to infiltrate the younger generation of gays. And sadly, I see this generation of 20-something gays having a sense of entitlement when they've done nothing to deserve it. That's an attitude that will definitely halt their emotional and mental growth. Thereby making them easy targets for the older gays (and society in general) who are more savvy on how to manipulate their naivete. So I'm hoping some young gay will do like I do, and give them a wake up call. Their popularity won't start out full of smiling faces, but they will be respected. And gays will hopefully want to follow that person to earn that respect themselves.
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