“Hello, father.”
“Son, you are the last of your line. I was destroyed before I could father another son. Your cousins were all killed in the battle with the Brinsley clam.”
“What do you expect me to do about it?”
“You must father children, Harold. With the most negative woman you can find. Only a vile negative person can carry our seed.”
“I’m gay Dad.”
“If our lines ends with you I will torment you endlessly in the afterlife. Find a way to father kids and continue my line, or you will suffer as though you never thought possible.”
“I’ll see what I can do father.”
Nate smiles. Then he disappears.
Frank enters. He staggers in drunk. Harold looks at him with pity. Nothing seems to stop Frank’s alcoholism. Frank collapses on the couch.
“Hey babe. Has my nephew Juan come over?”, said Frank.
“No, he hasn’t. Shouldn’t you stop drinking so much?”
“When pigs fly!”
“Suit yourself. I have to go out on an errand.”
Harold leaves the apartment. He walks down the street. He concentrates all around and looks for the perfect woman. His magic summons a woman to him. But she’s horribly fat. A snap of his fingers dismisses her. He works his magic again. A horrible old woman comes to him. Clearly she went through menopause decades ago. He dismisses her. He walks along the street till he sees a newspaper at a newstand. An article titled the transformation machine is there. As he reads the article, it says how the latest research has come up with a machine that can reshape the human body. An old body can be made young. The machine can instantly perform surgeries and even genetically modify bodies. Harold grabs the article and heads home.
Harold opens the door. Frank is still sleeping. He wakes him up.
“What the hell, Harold?”
Harold shows him the article.
“We can be young again!”
“You woke me up for this bullshit? I don’t want to be young and stupid again.”
“Stop being such a miserable old drunk. You’re coming with me whether you want to or not.”
At the university medical center, Harold and Frank both sign in. The clerk takes them to the machine that they both look at in awe. Harold smiles at the machine. He’ll be a young man again, and this will surely make it easier for him to find the perfect bitter woman to have his children. Besides, as an old man he possibly didn’t have the sperm to impregnate a woman. Harold walks towards the machine.
“I’m going in first.”
Harold enters the machine. Frank looks in fear. A blindly light comes out of the machine. Out stumbles Harold, a hot, handsome 25 year old lookimg man.
“It feels so wonderful to be young again. It’s your turn now.”
“Never. This is bullshit and unnatural. And stupid. I don’t know how I let you talk me into even being here. Fine, you’re young again. Go back to the clubs and the sites and whore around like you did when you were young again.” Harold waves his hand and Frank is slammed across the room.
“What has the machine done to you?”
“I was always a warlock, you rotten old fool”
Frank’s eyes grow wide with fear. Harold laughs. He looks at the machine. He looks at Frank.
“I should let you rot and be worm food. But I do have my plans.”
Harold waves his hand and Frank is forced into the machine. Harold then casts a spell.
“In the name of the ancient gods, I perform a reverse, and from now on Frank shall carry a purse.”
A blinding light comes out of the machine. A 25 year old woman comes out of the machine. She’s tall, busty, and curvy. She feels her body. She’s frightened and horrified. She puts her hand in her crotch and she finds there is no penis. She has a vagina. Harold sits there with glowing eyes.
“You don’t just have a vagina, sweets. You have ovaries and an uterus too.”
“How could you?”
“Your new name is Nicoletta, my love.”
Harold eyes glow and Nicoletta falls to his charms. They make passionate love in the university medical center. Nine months later, Harold and Nicoletta are back at the university medical center. Nicoletta has just given birth to quadruplets. The quadruplets are two boys and two girls. Juan, Harold’s nephew is there. Nicoletta lays down in the hospital bed. Nate’s spirit appears.
“You fathered four children and the family life will flourish.”
“Yes, father. I will be raising the children with my new husband, Juan.”
Nicoletta screams.
“What? You can’t have left me for my young nephew!”
“But I have Nicoletta. You served your purpose. No one was more bitter and negative than you. So I realize I should turn you into a woman and impregnate you. Only an extreme negative person could stand to carry the children of a warlock.”
“Fuck you Harold!” screams Nicoletta.
“You have done far better than I could have dreamed Harold. Our line is safe in your hands.”
“Thanks Dad.”
Weeks later Nicoletta is wasted at a bar. She’s crying. Kylene, a purple haired woman comes over and puts her hand on Nicoletta’s shoulders.
“Honey, what’s wrong?”
“My husband left me for his nephew right after I gave birth to his children.”
“Men are scum honey.”
Nicoletta sobs. Kylene kisses her tenderly. Nicoletta looks into Kylene’s eyes and in the depts of Kylene’s purple eyes, she finds true love. She collapses into Kylene’s arms and lays her head on Kylene’s breasts.
